The Dead Party Sketch

‘I wish to make a complaint!’

‘We're closin' for lunch.’

‘Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this party what I voted for not ten years ago.’

‘Oh yes, the, uh, the New Labour Party...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?’

‘I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it!’

‘No, no, it's uh,...it's resting.’

‘Look, matey, I know a dead party when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.’

‘No no it's not dead, it's, it's restin'! Remarkable party, New Labour, isn't it, ay? Beautiful logo!’

‘The logo don't enter into it. It's stone dead.’

‘Nononono, no, no! It's resting!’

‘All right then, if it's restin', I'll wake it up!

'Ello, Mister Brown! I've got a lovely fresh policy for you if you show...’

[party chairman hits the cage]

‘There, he moved!’

‘No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!’

‘I never!!’

‘Yes, you did!’

etc, etc.